This value is the foundation all my other values rest upon. It is essentially my core value. As Stephen Covey says, “begin with the end in mind.” When connection and acceptance of others through service is the guiding force, decisions and actions become “easier” – although they may not be simple to carry out.
Service to others begins with the awareness of self and others. I cannot fulfill my end goal without an understanding of a situation through the eyes of others; “walking in another’s shoes.” Without emotional intelligence (i.e. empathy, intuition and self-compassion), I may spin my wheels doing something with good intentions but without truly understanding a situation. This is not helpful and may actually be patronizing to the people I’m trying to serve.
Emotional intelligence is directly linked to safety; meeting all basic human needs of both myself and others – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and financial. When basic human needs are met, people are more open to living in community. An important part of emotional intelligence is self-compassion. My core value is to connect with others and live in community. To be fully present and give others my best self I need to take time to recharge by being in nature, doing something creative or reading a book.
Being vulnerable and open to receiving feedback is critical when acting in service to others. Taking the information gathered from EI to the next level by asking questions and discussing an issue with all parties directly affected by the situation helps promote trust. A diverse, non-biased and honest inner circle helps guide ethical decision making and taking ethical actions.
I use discernment continuously with every action. It is imperative for me to fully understand a situation before making an important decision. I try to acquire information from all sources – emotional intelligence, personal conversations, printed materials and a check of any personal biases I’m consciously aware of. I also make sure to verify alignment with my personal values and mission statement.
This is the value that is the most difficult for me because in many instances it puts me at odds with my core value – connection with others. Because I’m a creative person I tend to think outside the box and take calculated risks. Ultimately though, when I stand up to do what’s right, and regardless of my intuitive abilities, I don’t know what the outcome will be. Therefore, the courage to carry out a decision requires healthy communication, ethical influence and going “all in” while consistently staying true to my values. I’ve also learned that having courage means I must admit when I’m wrong, be flexible when unexpected situations arise, and alter my actions if they end up causing more harm than good. This value is confusing, challenging and sometimes contradictory, but it’s the one that bothers me the most when I lack the courage to take action.