What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
So, What Is In A Name?
When I read Romeo and Juliet in high school I didn’t understand the deep implications of what Juliet was saying. I understood the quote in the context of its relationship to the story line, but I didn’t get the big picture. Now I Do!
The Big Decision
Recently, I went through the process of changing my name. After my divorce I didn’t feel like the name Beth Chandler fit me anymore. And neither did Elizabeth Chandler, which was also a name I sometimes went by in professional settings. If I had stayed in Greenville, SC I might have kept the name Chandler. That’s how people knew me. Elizabeth / Beth Chandler belonged in South Carolina.
However, when I decided to leave Greenville and move back home to Birmingham, I wasn’t sure what name to use. I was still legally Chandler, and that name flowed off my lips much easier than my maiden name. And quite frankly, I must admit Elizabeth Chandler is a very pretty name! People in Birmingham knew me as Beth Luketic, and every time I met someone new or reintroduced myself, my brain couldn’t figure out what name to use. I had to pause and think about it before answering. This was uncomfortable and confusing.
It felt so strange that after only 11 years of being a Chandler, Luketic seemed so foreign to me. I had gone by Luketic 27 years longer than Chandler, so why did it feel so weird to switch back? This question took me a while to answer. I finally realized that much of my identity with the name Beth Luketic was wrapped around a childhood image of myself. In my mind, I couldn’t see a vision of an adult Beth Luketic. I was a completely different person than the Beth Luketic in her 20’s. Was it possible for Beth Luketic be a person in her late 30’s and beyond?
If Not Beth Luketic, Then Who?
Given that neither the name Beth Chandler nor Beth Luketic seemed to fit me anymore, I realized that I could change my name to be anything I wanted it to be. So exciting! What name should I choose? Should I still be Beth and simply change my last name? Should I go by my middle name, Renee? Maybe my last name should be Renee? Maybe I should shorten Luketic to Luke – it’s much easier to pronounce. Should I go by something completely different and exotic, or name myself after a character in a book?
My mind was spinning with all the possibilities. Then I asked myself, will I still be me if I change my name to something completely independent of all the labels and identities belonging to Beth Luketic? Hmmmmm, what are the identities belonging to Beth Luketic? With a different name, will my personality change? Will I become an extrovert instead of an introvert? Will I become the life of the party instead of someone who prefers to hang out with a small-ish, more intimate group of friends? Will I like country music instead of hard rock? Probably not. I’ll still be an introvert, prefer deep conversations with small-ish groups of people, and LOVE hard rock!
With it decided that I would still be me even if I weren’t a Luketic, I was leaning towards a really cool name I had picked out. But before I filed the paperwork, I decided to speak with my family. What would it say to them if I chose a name other than the one they gave to me at birth? Other than the one we all shared? After speaking with them, it hit me that the Luketic name was going to end with my generation. At that time, neither my brothers nor I had any children, and neither did my aunt or uncle. An entire line of Luketics gone. Wow! This, to me was a big deal. I needed to consider the implications of changing my name more seriously than an unlikely personality change. A name signifies history, family, honor, tradition, pain, joy, connection, separation. All those things and much much more…
It was decided… I was going to become Beth Luketic!
American Pronunciation: Luke-a-tic
Croatian Pronunciation: Luke-a-tich
